Ways to avoid divorce

Running your partner a bath, making them a cup of tea and leaving love letters around the house, are all ways to avoid a divorce, according to advice from a relationships campaign. But, do you really think it's the way to prevent a divorce? What things keep your relationship alive? 

Godly Parenting II - Tips

As a sequel to my previous post on Godly parenting I think it will be in order for me to present my personal tips on achieving Godly parenting. 

Lead by example: As they say, what you do is so loud that I cannot hear what you are saying. If we want our children to take God seriously, we must do the same. We must exhibit the lifestyle of a Christian so that our children learn from us. Our children should see us pray as well as praying with us, studying the Bible, going to church, listening in church (we should not give children games like ipads etc. in church; we are telling them church is boring), be a part of church by joining a department, telling the truth, being fair in our dealings etc. 

Pray always: We must pray for our children at all times. My Mum told me recently that she has started to reduce praying for me as she has seen that I am taking God seriously. She has been praying for me for almost 30 years and I have seen the direct results of her prayers. 

My salvation came as a result of her prayers, my Mum prayed for me and blessed me fervently on the 8th of September, 2012 I met my husband the very next day. In many other ways such as success in my education and divine protection, I have seen God move beyond my own prayers and I believe its because I have a praying Mum.

A friend of mine made me to realise that just as we have Angels guarding and guiding our children, their are also demons around that are trying to interfere with their lives. We as parents must continue lifting them up in prayer as Apostle Paul said in Gal 4 vs 19 "My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you". We must travail in the place of prayer till Christ is formed in our Children.

The things we should pray for include; developing the fear of God, the love of God, faith in God, having ears that hear God, discovering their purpose in God etc. 

Unity: I believe it is very important for both parents to engage in Godly parenting. This makes the job easier however, in a family with only one serious Christian the onus is on that parent to work hard through God's grace to nurture their children in the way of God. 

It is important that Christian fathers do not leave the instilling of Godly instructions only to their wives. The scripture below shows that both parents should be involved in the process of teaching. 

Proverbs 1:8-9 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.

I believe there are numerous tips on Godly parenting. The websites below have information which buttresses the points I have made above. I pray God will en-grace us to be the best parents ever. Amen

http://familyfortress.org/2013/05/15/ten-keys-to-raising-godly-children/

http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/20-important-bible-verses-for-parents/#ixzz38a1NBxlU

Godly Parenting

My personal desire as a Christian is to ensure that I pass onto my offspring the love and faith that I have found in God. I would want my children to understand that the purpose of their creation is to be an extension of God on earth and to establish His will.

A recent TV documentary on the decline of Christianity within British society, stated that future generations are less likely to be committed Christians as there is a decline with each passing generation.

I think this trend is unique to Christianity as opposed to other religions where you find that parents pass their religious belief and practices on to their children who in turn pass this on to their own children. At a bank in Abuja I saw a boy of about 3 years taking the Muslim prayer posture this was very remarkable to me and I think Christian parents have to take a leaf out of the books of others to achieve Godly parenting.

When does Godly parenting start? I believe it starts from the moment of conception. We should engage the unborn one in our daily routine as Christians such as praying, praising, Bible study and church attendance. 

As Proverbs 22 vs 6 puts it perfectly "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it". If we do not train up our children in a Godly way we should not expect anything else when they are grown. 

Parenting Courses. Are they necessary?

For the most part of educational lives, we learn how to be successful in a chosen career or vocation. The tools we gain in education hardly prepare us for things like relationship, marriage and parenting.

Generations before us did not resort to classes to learn how to be parents. This does not negate the fact that their are skills required to make a good parent.

The question is if we should entrust the raising of the next generation in seemingly "untrained hands" or should we encourage and engage in parenting classes to gain the skills needed to execute the role of a parent?

I am personally keen on learning the skills that will aid me in being a good parent even if it comes in the form of parenting courses.

Would you be open to parenting classes?

The Joy of Marriage

I have always been taken aback by single people who have the view point that marriage is difficult and needs a lot of hard work. This view may be as a result of personal experiences or misguided conceptions nevertheless, I see a need for it to be arrested in peoples' general thinking.

As a young child I always had a desire to have my own family and to have a healthy, happy relationship with my spouse. This was not because of my immediate environment but in-spite of it. I have been privileged over the years to see really happy marriages and this assured me that my desire is actually people's reality.

As we are told by motivational speakers, what you see is what you get. This is why I believe there is a need for people to see marriage as being positively joyful as opposed to being difficult. 

I do not however, negate the fact that marriage has its unique challenges but I believe the joy of marriage lies in getting through challenges with the person you love and being able to laugh even when the going is tough. 

For me being married to my soul mate is my greatest happiness. 

Feminism....???

Even though I can describe myself as positively feminist (i.e I agree with views which promote women's ability to contribute to the broader society), I do find myself agreeing to the above quote.

Men and women are two peas in a pod each needing the other to reach optimum capacity. Hence I do not agree with statements like, "What a man can do, a woman can do better". We are individually gifted and are able to perform different roles in life and in our relationships.

I believe women should embrace their roles as wives and mothers in a more positive way because the nature and character of future generations depends a lot on us. King David of the Bible followed the example of his mother in his service to God (Psalm 86: 16). 

This does not mean women do not have a role in business or any career however, it often is a choice on what area of your life can take more hits. I hope it is not the home front when I am faced with those choices.

What's in a name?

I totally love my name and I feel like it defines me in more ways than one. I used to write my name on pieces of paper just because I love my name.

Whenever I said the name Jennifer Opene, it felt good. Having adopted a new surname through marriage I feel like I have adopted a different personality. This informs me that a name really defines you.

As parents we occupy the unique position of giving our children their identity for life just by naming them. I wonder what the children given the names below think.

Unusual girls' names
· Archita
· Blip
· Blue
· Creedence
· Duda
· Feline
· Kalliope
· Kinzly
· Kukua
· Nyx
· Viggo


Unusual boys' names
· Anibal
· Braulio
· Cadence
· Cheese
· Cub
· Egypt
· Hurricane
· Kodiak
· Legend
· Panda

I think celebrities do give the weirdest names. I have a few below.

Nicholas Cage: Kal-El

Jason Lee: Pilot Inspektor

Bog Geldof: Fifi Trixibelle

Sylvester Stallone: Sage Moonblood

Penn Jillette: Moxie Crimefighter

Jermaine Jackson: Jermajesty

What names are you likely to give your child?

Fireworks filmed with a drone

Enjoy the fireworks. Happy Sunday!!!

Sex and Marriage

I have learnt that sex is one of the power centers of marriage. It also serves 3 main functions;

• Procreation
• Intimacy and bonding
• Pleasure

Though we seem to be confronted daily with several images and talks that are sex related, I do not think that there are much information out there that can help couples who are struggling in the sex department of their marriage. 

I believe the place of sex in marriage cannot be over or under- emphasized. Marriages that work, are fostered by a healthy sexual relationship which puts into consideration the needs of both individuals.

If you are a Christian or of other religious belief, are you able to get counselling within your church or assembly for sexual help?

How can people get help apart from the above avenues?

Weight gain in pregnancy

During pregnancy the expected weight gain is about 11 kg. I still have few months to go and I have already exceeded that by 2.5 kg having gained 13.5 kg.

Should I be worried? I am actually trying to maintain a fairly balanced diet but, each week I am almost certain another kg will be creeping up on me.

The picture of Kim K below does give me hope. Anyway I guess I should look forward to shedding the weight after delivery. Fingers crossed!!!

Foods/Drinks to avoid when pregnant

• Raw or half cooked eggs
• Uncooked or half cooked meat
• Soft cheeses made from unpasteurised milk
• Unpasteurised milk
• Raw cake batter or cookie dough
• Raw shell fish e.g oysters and clams
• Under cooked vegetables (wash vegetables properly)
• Some kinds of fish ( e.g Shark, sword fish, king mackerel)
• Raw or under cooked fish
• Liver is not safe to eat in pregnancy
• Caffeine intake should be limited to 200mg per day (be aware of hidden sources of caffeine such as tea and fizzy drinks)
• Avoid alcohol

Breast feeding or Formula?

Visiting my mid wife and being asked whether I was going to breastfeed was quite interesting. My response was that I will combine both breast milk and formula. This got me thinking about breastfeeding.

According to professionals, breast milk offers a child all the nutrient it needs for the first 6 months of its life.

I think though that if a child is breastfed often enough they are able to have the benefit of breast milk and then you can supplement with formula.

I am considering using both when I give birth. Would you?

Have you used both when you gave birth?

Dads being present at child birth

Proud Dad Robbie Williams said that watching his wife give birth was like watching his favourite pub burn down. 

I certainly will want my husband to be with me while I am giving birth.  

Our men usually wait outside the birth room and come in after the child is born. 

What would you prefer?

Celeb Baby Bumps

Kelly looks peaceful and obviously she is keeping in shape.

 Mila Kunis is also spotting a tidy bump.

Christina Aguilera looks really radiant with her bump.

 And Kimberly Walsh is seen here strutting her bump.

Crazy Pregnancy Cravings

I think every pregnant woman encounters the almighty cravings.

Some celeb cravings

Chicken Tamale

Kate Middleton: Vegetarian Curry

Kim Kardashian: Cheese, chili cheese fries and more cheese

Drew Barrymore: Tamales (whatever that is), Pan-fried noodles from a Chinese restaurant

Kate Winslet: Orange juice

I have had a few myself. I remember travelling from Enugu to Abuja with Okpa to share with a friend; trust me she never saw the Okpa. I then kept craving for Okpa. When I got to Enugu after a few weeks I ate Okpa just once and I was sick of it.

I also have cravings for beans. On a particular Saturday I told my husband that if I didn’t eat beans, the day would be a very horrible one. I cooked the beans and thoroughly enjoyed it.

The good thing is that I always prefer cooking the beans myself.

I have put a few that I saw online:

“Onions and mustard. I don't even like onions, but I would crave chopped onion drenched in mustard”.

“I've been dipping cheese in ketchup! So gross but so good”.

“Salt! I have been eating it by the spoonful. I even went as far as having the hubby hide everything from garlic salt to table salt”.

“Goldfish crackers dipped in strawberry ice cream. My husband had to hide the crackers because it was grossing him out”!

Please share the cravings you have had.

Have you had any crazy cravings? 

Primark Baby

A baby was born outside a Primark Store yesterday in Birmingham. Labour lasted for about 10 mins and its a baby girl.

Does the name Primarni sound right for her?

The Kicks

I was wondering what it would feel like when the long anticipated baby kicks started. At first it was like a flutter and as the weeks have gone by it has become stronger and i need no guesses to know that I have just been kicked. Earlier to day my husband placed his hands on my belly and actually got his own kick. He was just in awe. I must say that each kick actually makes me happy.

Do you have any stories on the kicks?

How does it feel when you experienced your baby's kicks?

Pregnancy myths

I am often confronted with the stark difference in reactions between being pregnant in Nigeria and in UK. For instance, in UK pregnant women are often eager to discuss the sex of the child they are expecting as well as when the baby is due.
In Nigeria you don't know a woman is pregnant until she gives birth.
What could be responsible for these differences?